What's the worst part about an open-world game that doesn't let you explore? The knowledge that you could be doing something—anything—besides being trapped in interminable cutscenes and boring arguments. The world of Sword Art Online should make for a fantastic videogame: dramatic fights, stylish attacks, a pre-built universe of game rules and terminology. You could excuse Kirito for being a dishrag of a hero if the systems surrounding him were fun.

In Sword Art Online: Alicization Lycoris, they're not. Especially not on the Nintendo Switch.

During the first few minutes, you think you're in for a fascinating open-world experience. You have a great big forest to explore around the sleepy village of Rulid. There's a village where you can get side- quests from villagers that hate you, there are rivers you can fish in (a must for an open-world game), there are statues that grant bonus EXP for hunting specific monsters, and all number of hidden treasure chests. But as time goes on, you realize that Alicization Lycoris doesn't want you to explore—it wants you to sit down and watch the story. As the story goes on and Kirito and Eugeo enroll in an academy for swordsmen, the story shifts gears into a structured pattern: wake up, take a lesson, wander around town until you feel like killing the one enemy in the fields that progresses the story, then watch a cutscene where a nobleman acts a fool. Repeat several times. Just when you think the story will add a wrinkle to the formula, it instead railroads you into a series of interminable cutscenes which don't even have playable sequences between them. Thank goodness there's a warning prompt once you approach the point of no- return, because you don't get a single chance to level grind between the cutscenes and story-mandated fights that ensue.

What's worse is how much of the story already gets truncated, summarized by text on a black screen describing things that the characters do that would have made for a good story. You could have allowed us to play through Kirito and Eugeo participating in the tournament that enlists them in the Sword Academy. You could have allowed us to play through Kirito and Eugeo's time in prison, letting us at least try to carry out a failed attempt at escaping. But instead, the game is so dogged in explaining all of its ponderous lore and villain motivations that I felt I was just sitting down to watch an episode of the anime with a joypad in my hands.

Now, to be fair, Alicization Lycoris does give you the option of skipping the early chapters, specifically for those who've already watched the Sword Art Online anime or read the light novels. But in retrospect, this is already bad design; for starters, why would you want someone to skip whole chunks of your game? For another, these chapters also grill players on the game's many intricacies in combat. I say “intricacies”, but to be clear: combat in Alicization Lycoris is a button-mashing affair. Sure, there are very intricate systems of perfect dodging and parrying that can grant you energy for fancy special attacks and combos, and paying close attention to enemy cues can clue you in to mastering the timing for parries or perfect dodges. And yet, combat will never ask that much of you: you can make do with just hammering the Y button and spamming your skills. There's a fun magic system based around spending time charging and discharging elements, but it's cumbersome and it's not as practical as just hammering the Y button. You can invest points into learning new skills based upon various classes, but Kirito can't equip any of these new skills until later in the story. You must play this open-world game's intricate combat system the way it wants you to. No questions asked.

This wouldn't be so bad if the game at least looked good. And, uh... it doesn't. Compromises had to be made for this game to be brought to the Nintendo Switch; characters don't flap their lips when they talk so much as their mouth contorts between cavernous yawns and shut. Textures are simple. And the load times are atrocious; part of what made the constant cutscenes so horrid was that each one had its own loading screen.

All of this converges upon the most insulting part of this game: this full-priced retail title has a lootbox system. Players can pay money for in-game currency that allows you to (potentially) unlock new outfit components, emotes, or hair dyes for your characters. And this just takes the cake; why does a game with a crafting system just undercut its own mechanics with lootboxes and cash shops? Why force players to pay money to change their in-game hair color? Why make people pay more money for such a miserable game?

Sword Art Online: Alicization Lycoris is a disservice to its franchise. There are a million and one awesome things you could do with a concept like Sword Art Online, and giving people a world where they can run around as Kirito or Asuna and just enjoy a virtual world could have and should have been at least an enjoyable experience. Somehow, Alicization Lycoris saw fit to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I wanted to like this game, I really did. But as I write this review, I'm just glad I never have to spend another moment with it. And that's not something I should feel from an open-world game at all.