The isekai subgenre is no stranger to harems. These days, it seems like every Tom, Dick, or Harry who gets transported to a fantasy world is instantly gifted with a gaggle of giggling girls glomming over his gormless gonads. Tales of Wedding Rings, however, takes a decidedly more old-school approach. Based on a manga that began before the current isekai boom, this series pulls more from true harem romcom series of the 90s and 2000s. Rather than being an overpowered male fantasy from the get-go, our nondescript hero begins as an average guy who has to gradually accrue power and skill – along with his many love interests – across the story. That distinction may not seem that important, but it means this series is approaching its story with a different storytelling ethos than its light novel-based peers. Even if you can't quite put it into words—the vibes are different.

Unfortunately, that doesn't mean the series is notably better or more entertaining than any throwaway seasonal isekai production, nor is it immune to the drastic pacing issues that often come with light novel adaptations. The core appeal of any harem story is in seeing the likable and varied characters develop relationships, exploring how each girl inevitably finds herself falling for the leading man. That appeal is hard to come by when the series has to rush through each character's story to get to all five girls in a single season. That means no more than two episodes per character, and condensing their introduction-to-lovestruck timeline so much that none of it feels organic. Elven princess Nefritis falls for Satou in a single conversation, while catgirl Granart is ready to jump his bones after a single act of bravery. There's no chemistry to these relationships, and since we're always moving on to the next girl, they never get the chance to develop.

Not that things would change much if they did. The most old-school element of this harem dynamic is that Satou is doggedly and unflinchingly dedicated to Hime and Hime alone. He makes it clear on multiple occasions that marrying the other women is only a formality to boost his magic power, and that the only future he envisions is being with her. Hime is equally in love with him, which means their relationship has nowhere to go but down. While Satou's dedication and faithfulness are his most admirable traits, they also prevent him from developing any relationship with the other characters. All any other wife can do is fruitlessly throw on some lingerie and snuggle up in his crowded bed, destined to be rebuffed while he spends all his attention on Hime.

That doesn't prevent Hime from getting jealous with each new addition to this not-so-polycule, constantly ping-ponging between resentment when Satou pays any attention to any of them, and offering sexual favors in unnecessary bids to keep his affection. It's a cycle that repeats across each new story arc that gets old fast while making the romance feel needlessly unpleasant at regular intervals. That also means the rest of the girls never really build connections with one another, either. So, each girl slots into her prescribed archetype, delivers her gimmick when called upon, and routinely gets dressed up in something sexy for the audience's benefit.

The one character who largely escapes this cycle is Saphir, the princess of the Water Kingdom who marries Satou entirely as a political formality. Her story arc involves allowing her twin sister – originally chosen as the fated magical paramour – to marry for love instead, and she sees the whole Ring Maiden thing as a necessary but banal chore. She genuinely does not care about Satou outside making sure he's capable of saving the world, and is more than happy to let the rest of the harem tie themselves in knots while she sits on the sidelines. She never becomes a tsundere or an ice queen whose heart must be melted in this season. Saphir's just doing her royal duty with all the passion of a fast food employee cleaning out the grease trap, which is also probably how she thinks about having to sleep with Satou. It doesn't make her character all that interesting, but through sheer contrast, she at least sticks out compared to the flat, archetypal love stories that her sister's wives are defined by, and becomes the best girl by default. Turns out, the only winning move is not to play.

So alright, if engaging character dynamics are off the board, there's at least the fanservice, yeah? Plenty of trashy harem titles can get by for a while by just loading up on cheesecake at the dessert buffet, and at the very least the girls' designs are varied and appealing enough, right? Sadly, that aspect suffers from the anime's overall abysmal production values. While there are occasional pin-up shots and singular sequences that manage to make the ladies look nice, three out of four attempts at titillation fall flat because of some failure of anatomical illustration. Characters routinely melt into jagged collections of polygons. Scenes that are supposed to be steamy and intimate move with all the sensuality of two naked Barbie dolls being smacked together. There are panty shots where it's genuinely hard to tell if you're looking at the front or back of someone.

The production values, in general, are very low. Any shot that isn't attempting to depict T&A is guaranteed to look worse on average. There's some nice background and environmental work, but it's degraded by a bad habit of throwing sickly-colored filters and post-processing effects over every frame, to hide how badly composited the character art is. Action scenes are positively pitiful, carrying all the impact and dynamism of an auto-generated slideshow of a child's drawings pinned to the refrigerator. The only upshot is that Crunchyroll's streams are partially uncensored, meaning you don't have to worry about beams of light or steam covering up every gal's nip-nops. You'll still have to buy the Blu-rays for everything down under, though.

The remaining chance at a saving grace would be the story, but that too suffers from the aforementioned pacing problems. Each story arc follows the same formula of introducing a princess, expositing the problems facing her kingdom, and having Satou solve those problems by fighting a bad guy, winning the lady's love in the process. That formula serves to flatten the stories into a predictable, boring exercise in going in motion, while the relentless pacing prevents any chance to explore the different kingdoms or do any serious world-building. This results in the fantasy world feeling like set dressing; a coat of paint and some wall hangings meant to gussy up an otherwise familiar affair.

What you're left with is a dull fantasy with stock, underdeveloped characters with uninteresting relationships that never look as good as they insist they should. It's a slog of an adaptation, losing much of what made the manga a pulpy but fun ride. Whether you're here for the plot and action or the “plot” and “action” you'll be left disappointed.